Worst Mom in the World?

It's probably happened to all of us at some point...  the day when we say to ourselves, "Yes, I am the worst mother in the world."  Well, today was my turn.

Every so often, I babysit for my friend, who is divorced and shares custody of her children with her ex.  She is going to school to finish her degree, and sometimes needs someone to look after her children.  Today was one of those days.  She only had one class, but her campus is an hour's drive from her house.  Her house, in turn, is less than a ten-minute drive from mine.  She was to be back by 2:15, which left me plenty of time for me to make it home before Miss Sassypants's bus let her off at 2:40.

Famous Last Words.

So, things go fairly smoothly...  I only have one child today - the youngest - the boy, who is two.  We play outside, then I fix him lunch.  He goes potty (and pees for me for the first time - YAY!!) and I tuck him in for his nap.  I clean up the kitchen, load the dishwasher and (the OCD freak that I am) dust the entertainment center (Boy, wouldn't you LOVE to have me as your sitter/housekeeper??), then proceed to settle in and read.  Yes, I'm finally jumping on the Fifty Shades bandwagon.  Around 1:40, my phone rings.  "I'm stuck in construction!"  Shit!  "Take the baby to the office.  Boyfriend will take him for you."  (Boyfriend owns his own business.)  OK, I can do that.  So what happens next?  Baby shits his cute little underpants.  Bad.  Boy, that boy has the worst poop known to man!  The kind that can spackle ass-cracks shut for life.  Talk about a derailment!  The following text goes out from my phone:  Dear Lord, this boy has shit his pants!

Ten minutes and half a tub of Huggies wipes later, we're cleaned up and ready to go.  As soon as my hands are washed, we're out the door, ready to meet Friend in the driveway and for me to high-tail it home.  Praying the whole time that I beat the bus.

I thought I made pretty good time...  I thought.  I pull onto my street and see no bus.  Whew!  Into the driveway, no Sassy.  Double Whew!  As I open the car door in the garage, I hear the bus.  Oh, thank God! Then I see it.  The bus is going down the street rather than up.  Oh, shit!!  Where is my baby girl?????  I run out of the garage and around the side of the house, just as she comes around from the back, cheeks ablaze, tears streaming down her face and snot running from her nose.  Oh.  My.  God.  There it is.  I AM THE WORST MOTHER IN THE WORLD.  My baby came home and no one was here!!  She runs to me and I drop to my knees as she grabs onto me, and we both cry.  I am totally shattered.  I have never felt like this before - like a total failure as a mother.  The look on her face said it all as she came around the corner of the house.  I have got to hand it to her, though...  she had the presence of mind to go out back ("I didn't want Mr. Jack to see me, Mommy."  Jack is her bus driver and would have stopped if he saw that she was standing outside the house all alone), and she said that she was going to walk four houses up to her friend's house.  Oh, God.  I have never had this discussion with her!  Another failure!  

Once we both recovered, we went straight inside and I found a spare key for the back door.  We went outside and I showed her how to use it (she's never had to unlock a deadbolt), and we found a keychain - with Imagination Movers gears a la Kiki, and put it in a "secret" pocket in her backpack.  A day late and a dollar short, as my Gram would say.  But now she has the ability to get into the house if, IF it ever happens again.  And if by chance she can't make the key work, I now have it worked out with my neighbor (and one of her best friend's moms) that she can walk up to their house until one of us gets home.  

She seems pretty well-recovered from The Incident, but I am not.  In fact, before she went to sleep tonight, she looked at me and said, "I'm sorry that happened today, Mommy, but I'm glad it wasn't your fault."  Cue my heart melting.  The really fun part will be telling Daddy tomorrow about the whole incident.  Anyone have bamboo chutes?  I'd rather shove them under my fingernails...